A Journal on
Consciousness & Healing 

What I've Learned About True Union from My Love, Amanda Lee, Texas, and Chris Stapleton



For 10 months I have been in Texas committed to healing the last ripples of imbalanced energies, that up until now at 47 years old, have held me back from loving union.\

There is a healthy masculine family-driven energy here in Austin, Texas, along with grounded male friendships that have been very healing as I grew up without a father who was schizophrenic and homeless at times.

Generally, I have found more mirrors of healthy union here in Texas that I did not find in my 20 years in New York City (more on that another day...).

My challenges with partnership began growing up as an only child in the suburbs of Mississauga, Ontario Canada, without a father and a single mother who worked so hard to keep us off welfare.

I didn't grow up in an environment to learn what true union was. But it was the perfect environment to catalyze decades of trauma bonds.

There is a Chris Stapleton song called FIRE AWAY that has hit me recently and is perfectly timed as we witnessed Chris's brilliance...

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Healing My Own Childhood Trauma - Part 2/2

Here is part 2 of 2 of recently healing my own childhood trauma. 
Continued from my last post.

This has truly been an immense cathartic experience. So complete in so many ways. I've discovered how to detach from my childhood expectations and show up with more compassion for him. To ‘fire’ him from the role I’ve continued to subconsciously expect him to take in my life, and step into the freedom that detachment and true presence deeply provides. 

He is a man who is living the best life he knows how with what he has available to him. He has always searched for peace within himself through adventure and travel, battling his own demons along the way. Many times I remember him battling them out loud through the voice of his schizophrenia. I witness him now so much calmer, and truly at peace with where he is. With time (and maybe his dementia) he now seldom reacts to previous schizophrenic triggers. Paradoxically he has actually transformed somewhat...

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Healing My Own Childhood Trauma - Part 1/2

Here is part 1 of 2 of recently healing my own childhood trauma. (Part 2 continued next week).

I've been away for 3 months taking care of my 78 yr old father who was traveling solo in Mexico in February and hospitalized.

An issue with his Prostate and Diabetes had him passed out and found on the streets of Puerto Vallarta and taken to a hospital. A nurse contacted me through Facebook after finding my contact info in his wallet. 

My father is schizophrenic, parents divorced when I was six, so under four decades later I’ve really only just spent a handful of times with him throughout the years.


— Hospital in Mexico / Quick visit to the ocean

Being his only child and estranged from his family for decades, I was the only contact he had in his wallet. I knew he didn’t have anyone else, so I rushed down to Mexico to find him in a stable yet disoriented state in a local hospital. 

He was a shadow of what I remembered. Slower to speak, having...

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